June 2012 Archives

I recently met with a practice manager of a medium sized OB/GYN practice in New Jersey.  I thought from the start, that we would have a common ground on which to launch our new professional relationship.  I am an Irish Catholic - she was an Irish Catholic, I'm a middle aged female - she was a middle aged female - we're both professionals working with new moms and dads.  The new moms are usually so tender and emotional, whereas the new dads are tired, scared and in some cases - want to jump ship.  They are scared - this is a natural reaction to an unknown responsibility - if they aren't scared - I would think that maybe they weren't putting enough thought into what is about to be their new life.

Great start for a sales call, I can draw on our similar background to develop a rapport and ease into becoming her number one referral source for DNA Testing in New Jersey. 

I've never been so wrong in my life.  I feel like Taylor Swift, writing songs about all the wrong people in my life - but I feel stronger about misguided women in professional careers working with new moms and new dads - and who are unable to separate their own beliefs and offer proper care to new moms and dads,  A new dad, asking for a private,paternity tests - has no religious or morale implications.  He has a doubt.  A young woman who agrees to undergo a private paternity test - probably has nothing to worry about but will be relieved when the new dad's doubts are removed by a simple piece of paper.  

If the combination of these two events, then provides a solid, foundation on which a child's life in this world begins, then who am I, or anyone else on this earth to judge the reasons or needs of such families.  I applaud the young men and women who come forth and partipate in a paternity test - rather than  hide in a shadow of fear and doubt.  Everyone remember when you were a child and there was some stress in your house - whether it was parents arguing, sisters and brothers misbehaving - everyone in the house was impacted by the stress.  I remember John Gray talking about a hanging "mobile", when one part of the "mobile" is moving - all parts are moving.  I thought it was a great analogy of the relationships in a family.

I cheerfully entered the small conference room to have a quick meeting with this OB/GYN practice manager.  I explained how we work directly with the new moms and "doubting dads" (as I like to call them) to get a Paternity Test done as quickly as possible.  Most hospitals offer 10 days to have the right names placed on the Child's Birth Certificate - that is in the case of single moms.  If a child is born to a married couple, the state automatically assumes that the child is a product of that marriage and husband and wife's name are placed on birth certificate as biological parents.  However, in the case of a child born to a single mom, a man has to sign paperwork in the hospital to acknowledge paternity.  If he signs, and then later finds out he is not the father - how devasting for him and his extended family  (remember the mobile analogy - more than one person gets impacted by the actions of others in the family). 

Maybe my upbringing taught me differently about this subject, maybe not - but it is my responsbility to provide a comforting atmosphere to anyone asking me for a DNA test to confirm any type of biological relationship - whether it is a paternity test, a maternity test, a silbingship test or a grand paternity test.  How emotionally charged is this situation - as a professional, offering private DNA tests, I personally I feel I have to offer a comforting atmosphere, I leave paperwork around my office regarding PPD, and other "new family" issues - I don't have great big, JUGDEMENTS emanating from my background slamming these new youngs moms with a GREAT BIG "A" - or anything else. 

For anyone working with new, young moms and their extended families, I offer these key points:

• Understand why religio-cultural competence is an essential skill for health care professionals
• Identify common obstacles to communicating with patients about religious beliefs that affect compliance and care
• Recognize how providers’ own religious and cultural backgrounds impact interactions
• Identify the 15 themes where religious beliefs affect patient care
• Learn techniques for effective communication around patient religious beliefs and practices

I sometimes wish my own doctors would understand my cultural background and my reluctance in some cases to follow their instructions. 

Separate  your own life from that of your patients and in my case, your local vendors who offer reliable, accurate DNA Testing for a family who willingly wants to participate.  Include us in your "new family" packages, so that the family can make their own decision on the subject - perhaps culturally they are shy about asking for a paternity test, and that doubt will erode any attempt to bond with the new baby. 

By now, most families have filed their income tax forms and have either spent the refund, have visions of this year's mini vacation, or perhaps an updated spa-like bathroom, the next big thing in kitchens or just getting rid of some debt.  I think that most of us are trying to just get rid of last year's debt and that can be as much of a relief as a vacation. 

There are some families who's refunds have been put on hold because of eligibility requirements for the Earned Income Tax Credit.  If you have received a letter or notice from the State of New Jersey, Department of the Treasury, Division of Taxation asking for further evidence of eligibility for the NJ EITC, and one criteria is to prove paternity, maternity, grand paternity, grand maternity, siblingship or any other biological relationship - DNA Testing performed by an accredited and federally approved laboratory can help expedite the processing of your documents.

DNA Testing today is a non-invasive buccal(cheek) swab.  No one wants to stick babies for a living.  If done correctly, by an independent, disinterested third party then government offices will accept a sealed, notarized copy as proof of your biological relationship.  What's that you say - Chain of Custody ???? amateurish investigators often ask this question - it is known as the CSI effect - everyone knows a little bit about DNA but not everyone knows exactly what is acceptable and what is not. 

DNA Testing done to confirm Paternity, Maternity, Grand paternity/maternity - for the purpose of social security, income tax, immigration, birth certificates - anything other than FORENSICs - the Chain of Custody process followed by the disinterested third party is to have participants sign and seal the envelope containing DNA swabs, sign and date the documentation with identifying information (date of birth, ss#, other government issued identification) and sign and date a photograph of participant.   Minors must have their parent or legal guardian in attendance.  The items are then packaged and sealed by the third party disinterested DNA collector and courriered to a lab.  In the case of The DNA Lady, only accredited DNA laboratories, that is those carrying CLIA, NYSDOH, AABB, FQS-International ISO 17025 accreditations are used in our tests.  The DNA Lady does not use off the rack, internet based companies.  When the chosen laboratory receives the overnight courriered package, they examine each item to insure no tampering has taken place between the time the items were signed/sealed by collector and DNA participant and the time the lab receives the package. Although the price of DNA testing equipment is coming down and DNA amplification using microscopic preheated and cooled layers of silicon are available (mostly to law enforcement), there is rarely an opportunity to walk directly into the DNA lab and get collected directly by the laboratory technician.

If you are a tax preparer, you may use the services of a local DNA collections company on a wholesale basis so that your clients receive the benefit of discounted tests.  DNA collections can take place in your office, so that your client is comfortable and in many cases - proper paperwork is readily available.  Have you ever met a man or woman so jealous of your success that they waste time all day on stupid phone calls?  Original results are sent in sealed envelopes to the government entity requesting the additional verification of eligibility for NJ EITC.  Participants receive copies via regular mail - and in the case of The DNA Lady - phone calls, emails and any other method necessary so that participants receive results as fast as possible.   

Of course, if you are concerned with any aspect of the DNA collection, having access to the local DNA collection facility, ie, The DNA Lady, is easier than dealing with an anonymous 800 numbers.  Buyer Beware - be concerned when you call a local number to set up your DNA test and the person on the phone redirects you to some other address - do not give your credit card numbers to these facilities. 

Go Green - get rid of magazines, newspapers and move into this century!  Save a tree.