November 2011 Archives

The following is an excerpt from an Australian news article, that prompted me to think - how many men would go running to their nearest local DNA Lady collection center, if they thought there was a possible refund?  The cost of the local DNA Lady's test, could not possibly equal the refund, if the child happens to not be yours.

Quote:

A woman has been ordered to pay back $13,000 in child support payments after DNA tests confirmed he was not the father of her 14 year old son. 

UNQUOTE

The "alleged" father took the child in for a DNA test, because the paternal grand mother continued to make observations that the child did not look like anyone else in their family.  Prompted by memories of a compromising position the man came upon with his wife and a neighbor years ago, he decided to find out for himself.

After confirmation from an accredited DNA collection facility, the man then returned to the equivalent of family court in Australia and asked that his child support payments be stopped.  The magistrate was so discouraged and outraged by the mother's fraudulent claims of paternity, that not only did he stop further child support payments, he demanded that the mother repay this man all monies he paid over the years, after a bitter divorce.

Some would bet any amount of money, that the aunts and grandmothers on both sides of this family recognized long ago that this child was not fathered by this man but there had already been enough conflict through the divorce, that no one wanted to create any more problems or be considered a "budinsky".

Now, 14 years later, who is the real victim in these situation - THE CHILD.  There is no greater bond than that between a father and child - now how do the ADULTS explain to this child what they have done?  How do you tell a 14 year old boy, who has played catch with his dad, gone to cricket or other sporting events with his dad and who relished every minute of the child visitation time w ith his dad - that this is not his dad.  Hopefully, a proper child psychologist will be brought to handle the situation and done so on an age appropriate level.

Does this remind you of anyone in  your family?  Have their been family rumours about a child in  your gatherings that no one is bothering to confront?  The longer the myth persists the harder it will be to reveal the truth to the child, the family and to everyone else involved. Most men in this situation react with true hurt - they do no want to give up the relationship with the child - but know that every child has the right to know who their biological parents are irrespective of the relationship between parents.

Today, more and more men, are taking children in for Paternity Tests.  Although having the mother included in the test provides a  more conclusive result, it is not necessary to have the mother tested, to confirm Paternity.  DNA Tests are non-invasive, a simple cheek swab is all that is needed to create a DNA profile. 

If it meant that you would be repaid child support payments made over the last XXX number of years - would you take your child in for a Paternity Test?  Would confirming/denying Paternity relieve you of the doubt you have carried for this time or would confirming/denying Paternity hurt you to your very core.  The MOPO effect we see on TV is not what the real men are doing in these circumstances.  Real men are hurt, their families(grand mothers, aunts, uncles) are disrupted, they are emotionally scarred by careless women, who either can't count or didn't listen during biology classes, or perhaps saw a bigger jackpot by naming the wrong father.

The moral of the story is Find Out First - get a Private Paternity Test(PPT) and remove lingering doubts and family whispers.  Everyone in the long run, will benefit by knowing the truth from the beginning.  

Private Paternity Testing (PPT) has been available to consumers for years.  However, well meaning, doctors, lawyers, birth certificate registrars tend to push clients toward Paternity Testing through family court.  A legitimate, PPT center offers the same test, in most cases, by the same laboratory as a State funded paternity test and provides a faster response times in a kinder more personal atmosphere.  The result is that all family members are relieved of unnecessary days off from work or school and the family can bond immediately with the child, without fear of doubt about paternity.

Imagine being a new mom, for the first or even second time and having to stand in a court room and "claim" that someone is the father of your child.  New moms are tired, stressed and should really just be concentrating on taking care of the new baby.  In the case, where both mother and father are on state assistance, then maybe a court room is their only option.  If one of the  parents, is employed it may be in their best interest and the interest of the child, to have a Private Paternity Test (PPT) in order to insure all dollars available are given to the child.  Most PPT centers are able to work with parents on payment plans.

If the mother of a child is receiving cash assistance from the State, then only the first $100 of child support ordered by the court - actually goes to the mother and child.  The remaining funds are given to the Department of Social Services as pay back. 

So, in the end, everyone would benefit from a PPT, as long as the alleged father will cooperate and wants to be supportive of the child.  In the case, where the father doesn't want to support the child, and a mother is forced to go the route of Family Court, then if the PPT was done on a Court Admissible Paternity Test basis, the mother already has the evidence she needs to obtain child support.

The advance in technology and the competitive nature of the industry has allowed PPT centers to offer very affordable pricing on Paternity Tests.  The only word of caution is to make sure you are working with someone local and someone you can return to with quesitons about the test.  Most PPT centers do not expect a credit card payment on the phone.  Final word of caution is to ask about accreditation carried by the PPT labs.  Do not use a non-accredited paternity test - it is not worth the paper it is written on.