DNA Lady
Since I published this entry 3 weeks ago, several companies have now joined in my efforts to offer discounts on DNA Paternity Tests - note that we were the first!
Happy Father's Day in New Jersey - DNA Paternity Test Sales for June 2009 in New Jersey
So you are the proud papa of a bouncing new baby boy or a cute and cuddly little baby girl. Are cigars still handed out these days? Do the papa's still sit in the waiting room nervous and edgy thinking about all the days of wonderment and responsibility ahead of them?
More than likely, in a Labor and Delivery waiting room today, sit only the grandparent's and the pending new papas - first time or not - are in the delivery room "coaching" the mom-to-be and sharing in this joyous experience. No time to think about the future - now is what's happening.........count, breath, push, relax.....is this really my child???....count, breath, push, relax...... is this really the time for me to bringing up this question??..... count, breath, push, relax........how could I doubt this woman at a time like this???........count, breath, push, relax....should I sign the Acknowledgement of Paternity?
Well the fact of the matter is that there are over 1.2 million men in America supporting children that are not biologically related, that is, they were not present at conception although for various reasons have been named the father on the birth certificate and therefore, fully and legally responsible for the care - physically, financially, spiritually of the child.
Having delivered Paternity Test results for more than two years now, I see several sides and arguments to this dilemma.
First and foremost, I cannot imagine going through life not knowing the very foundation of my existence, that is, my ethnicity, my roots. I can look in the mirror and figure out that I am probably Irish - but based on my features, skin, hair and eye color I could also be English, Scottish or a hybrid of all three. However, my parents were of solid Catholic background and so we know their position on extra-marital or pre-marital sex - they just didn't do it and I am solidly my father's daughter. I see myself in my sisters, in my now 86 year old mother and even in my nieces and nephews. My core being - an Irish Catholic is something you just can't take from me. I do and say things today, that when I listen in on what I'm doing - I can hear my mother or my father and for that I am thankful. I have had the benefit of two human beings who imparted core values on me and while I may not always encompass everything I was taught - I certainly know who I am and what is expected of me and how I came to be. I know from which I came and you cannot deny that knowing both your biological parents provides a solid foundation on which to live your life.
Second, the State doesn't want to feed another mouth, educate another child, house another family and so if you are married to the mother at the time of birth of a child, you are automatically considered the father. This applies in New Jersey so if you are reading this in another State - check your local State laws. If you have been married during the previous 300 days of the child's birth - then you will also automatically be considered the biological father - unless the mother clearly indicates another man as the father. Is this an appropriate assumption in today's society - perhaps, perhaps not considering the unwed birth rate peaked out at 40% in 2008 - it would seem more and more young woman are opting to have children without the benefit of marriage so why is marriage still the criteria for discerning paternity? OK, there are some segments of our society that still believe in the sanctity of marriage and to those our laws do not need revision.
Lastly, and we're discussing only factors happening on the day of birth or prior to it, if in that joyous moment when you are filled with pride and joy over what you have just witnessed and participated in delivering - you sign the Acknowledgement of Paternity papers which a hospital representative will slide into your hands and emphasize the importance of completing the paperwork as soon as possible - you have just acknowledged to the world that this is your child, to have and hold, to love and educate, to feed and house and to pass on your own core values for ever and ever - unless, of course, in the next 60 days you take a paternity test and receive results which indicate otherwise. You will need to submit the results to the proper NJ authority to be removed from the child's birth certificate and you will probably require legal representation to navigate through the system. Otherwise, Happy Father's Day and welcome to the world of sacrifice, disappointment, fear, stress, anger only trumped by the love and pride and genuine astonishment in what you (and your version of a higher power or greater being) have created and brought into this world and which no one can take away from you as long as you live.
Happy Father's Day in New Jersey - DNA Paternity Test Sales for June 2009 in New Jersey
So you are the proud papa of a bouncing new baby boy or a cute and cuddly little baby girl. Are cigars still handed out these days? Do the papa's still sit in the waiting room nervous and edgy thinking about all the days of wonderment and responsibility ahead of them?
More than likely, in a Labor and Delivery waiting room today, sit only the grandparent's and the pending new papas - first time or not - are in the delivery room "coaching" the mom-to-be and sharing in this joyous experience. No time to think about the future - now is what's happening.........count, breath, push, relax.....is this really my child???....count, breath, push, relax...... is this really the time for me to bringing up this question??..... count, breath, push, relax........how could I doubt this woman at a time like this???........count, breath, push, relax....should I sign the Acknowledgement of Paternity?
Well the fact of the matter is that there are over 1.2 million men in America supporting children that are not biologically related, that is, they were not present at conception although for various reasons have been named the father on the birth certificate and therefore, fully and legally responsible for the care - physically, financially, spiritually of the child.
Having delivered Paternity Test results for more than two years now, I see several sides and arguments to this dilemma.
First and foremost, I cannot imagine going through life not knowing the very foundation of my existence, that is, my ethnicity, my roots. I can look in the mirror and figure out that I am probably Irish - but based on my features, skin, hair and eye color I could also be English, Scottish or a hybrid of all three. However, my parents were of solid Catholic background and so we know their position on extra-marital or pre-marital sex - they just didn't do it and I am solidly my father's daughter. I see myself in my sisters, in my now 86 year old mother and even in my nieces and nephews. My core being - an Irish Catholic is something you just can't take from me. I do and say things today, that when I listen in on what I'm doing - I can hear my mother or my father and for that I am thankful. I have had the benefit of two human beings who imparted core values on me and while I may not always encompass everything I was taught - I certainly know who I am and what is expected of me and how I came to be. I know from which I came and you cannot deny that knowing both your biological parents provides a solid foundation on which to live your life.
Second, the State doesn't want to feed another mouth, educate another child, house another family and so if you are married to the mother at the time of birth of a child, you are automatically considered the father. This applies in New Jersey so if you are reading this in another State - check your local State laws. If you have been married during the previous 300 days of the child's birth - then you will also automatically be considered the biological father - unless the mother clearly indicates another man as the father. Is this an appropriate assumption in today's society - perhaps, perhaps not considering the unwed birth rate peaked out at 40% in 2008 - it would seem more and more young woman are opting to have children without the benefit of marriage so why is marriage still the criteria for discerning paternity? OK, there are some segments of our society that still believe in the sanctity of marriage and to those our laws do not need revision.
Lastly, and we're discussing only factors happening on the day of birth or prior to it, if in that joyous moment when you are filled with pride and joy over what you have just witnessed and participated in delivering - you sign the Acknowledgement of Paternity papers which a hospital representative will slide into your hands and emphasize the importance of completing the paperwork as soon as possible - you have just acknowledged to the world that this is your child, to have and hold, to love and educate, to feed and house and to pass on your own core values for ever and ever - unless, of course, in the next 60 days you take a paternity test and receive results which indicate otherwise. You will need to submit the results to the proper NJ authority to be removed from the child's birth certificate and you will probably require legal representation to navigate through the system. Otherwise, Happy Father's Day and welcome to the world of sacrifice, disappointment, fear, stress, anger only trumped by the love and pride and genuine astonishment in what you (and your version of a higher power or greater being) have created and brought into this world and which no one can take away from you as long as you live.
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